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The Greatest Mod of them all (Read: dumbest ever)

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 4:26 pm
by SkReaP
Yeah...all you people out there with your "jobs" and your "money" and "tools" and "good computers", I got something to show you that will make you realize just how damn lucky you are.

My name is Skreap. My computer is 5 years old and has to last me another 2 years (I am poor). The fan mounted on my videocard broke and I spent a lot of money on it. It's a GeForce3 ti200 that I bought with every penny I could scrape up. It was also 2 years old at the time, so there was no warrante to speak of.

My poor ass solution? Buy a cheap fan and mount it near the card. Sounds simple enough, only the fan that I bought didn't fit my case - it was just a few mm too big. Since I couldn't afford to buy a smaller one (YES I HAVE THAT LITTLE MONEY), and there was no way I was going to let my card die, I desided to take drastic action: MAKE a hole.

Now, my case is SOLID FXKING STEEL, and I have **ZERO** powertools to work with. All I had was a screwdriver I found, a nail file, and a lot of duct tape.

So I took the screwdriver and BEAT THE LIVING SHTI out of the case for FIVE F'N HOURS. Yes, and entire afternoon of the oh-so-plesant sound of metal being slammed up against metal in an acustic-rich dormatory. After all my hard work, I had a warped case with a dime-sized hole in it.

That's when the screwdriver broke.

So, determined to finish what I had started, I turned to the nail file. YES, THAT'S RIGHT - BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 8:00PM TO 1:30AM (while you were out spending your "money" with your friends on a Friday) I was in my dorm room USING A NAIL FILE to cut a hole through my case. I successfully carved an 'L" into my case. I then got a knock on my door. My roommate.

I told him how wonderful my Friday had been, and he told me I could borrow his power screwdriver if I promised not to break it. Being the recourseful person that I am, I used the screwdriver and one of his screws to slowly PERFORATE the side of my case. That's right - I made a series of 5mm holes, each 1/6 of an inch appart from one another, and then stomped on the case until the square piece of steel broke off.

I was about to celebrate when I realized - oh goody! - THE DAM HOLE WAS TOO SMALL FOR THE FAN. But that's not all folks!! I also didn't realize that I had bent my case so much that if I tried to mount the fan on the inside of the case, it would grind up against the card. YAY!!

So, still full of piss & vinegar, I drilled 2 more holes into my case so that I could mount the fan on the outside. (unsafe and dirty and ugly and every other bad adjective I can think of, but EFFECTIVE!). But the holes were only the right size for a certain size of screw (they were too large for the plastic clips the fan came with). And, as luck would have it, the only screws that I had that would stay put in the hole, we're sharp enough to perform open-heart surgery with, and 2 1/2 inches long.

So I had to put the screws in with the butt-rapingly sharp ends sticking out, and let the fan loosely dangle from them. Don't belive me? Well I got your picture proof right here! ... %20fan.jpg

and here: ... %20fan.jpg

But don't think this epic saga is over yet! I may be poor, but I'm demanding. Since hole was kinda off-target, the air wouldn't hit the videocard as directly as I had intended. But, damn it, if I've come this far I can't give up now.

I wanted to somehow chill the air around my computer. It was the middle of spring and I don't think room temperature air blowing sorta-kinda near the fan was going to preserve it, so I wanted to make the fan blow in COOL air....

I saw the amount of duct tape I had availible to me, and I immediately had an idea. Can you guess what kind of idea DUCT tape would give me? huh? DUCT tape?....DUCT....tape....

Yes, I was going to build a cold-air duct to this ghetto fan of mine. But that would require money...OR WOULD IT. I immediately ran outside and starting digging through the dormatory's recycling bin. I grabbed every 20oz bottle I could get my hands on, took them back to the room and rinsed them out.

It was 2:45. I was ready to build a duct. I took my trusy pocket knife out and began to cut the tops and bottoms off of every bottle, leaving only their perfectly Leaving only theie perfectly tube-like cores. I then duct taped them all together, end to end, until I had a 6-foot long plastic duct. I built 2 elbow pieces cleverly using the curved tops of the bottles, and then 2 more ducts of appropriate size.

2.5 hours later, my room was filled with shards of plastic bottles and the fresh smell of environmentally-hazardous adhesive. I wrapped an ozarka water bottle around the fan, and began to amass my hellish creation.

fan to ozarka.
ozarka to small tube.
small tube to upwards elbow.
upwards elbow to medium tube.
medium tube to outwards elbow.
outwards elbow to large tube.
large tube to plastic grocery bag.
grocery bag to A/C vent.

It was done. I had created a syphon of cold air. Cold air would fill the plastic bag and pressure would build. The fan on the side of my case would spin violently. Since the duct was air tight, the fan would suck air out of the plastic bag like a drink through a straw. Cold, filtered, frat-puke smelling air was now being blasted onto my videocard. Cold air seeped out of the cracks of the computer. The temperature gauge on my processor now idled at 5 degress less than usual.

My creation was a success!
Don't beleive me about the duct?

Fan going up: ... %20004.jpg
and up: ... %20003.jpg
and over: ... %20002.jpg
and into the A/C: ... %20001.jpg

Now **THAT**, my "money" holding friends, is a MOD!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 5:41 pm
by Reptilian_Storm

This is some of funniest $%^[email protected]# ive seen in a long time!!!!!

But fair play..if it works, it works..BRAVO!!!

LMFAO...i need the toilet...brb.. :lol:

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 5:57 pm
by inteljunky
that is some sweet work
...screw recycling...

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 7:07 pm
by Tulatin
LOL! You do know, that you could have bent a pci card with some fingers, and taped the fan on so it sat under the card and blew onto it.

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 7:50 pm
by scriccs
OMG thats so bad. I wonder if that does anything? LOL

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 8:22 pm
by SkReaP
Tulatin wrote:LOL! You do know, that you could have bent a pci card with some fingers, and taped the fan on so it sat under the card and blew onto it.
That wouldn't have worked. A fan needs room behind it to pull air through. Here's a little test for you:

Take a fan and lay it flat on a surface so that the back of the fan is blocked. You'll notice 2 things. One - The fan becomes louder and starts spinning faster. Two - unless you hold your hand right up to the blades, you wont feel any breeze. A fan works like a straw - if the side that isn't in your mouth is blocked off, no matter how hard you suck no air will go through. You've also depressurized the straw (less air inside of it = less wind resistance).
The lack of wind resistance is what causes the fan to speed up and get louder. No wind being sucked through means there are no changes to counter-balance, thus little to no breeze.

If you tape a fan to a PCI card, the fan doesn' Now, bending a PCI card would imply that one would need to own a PCI card that can be bent without being broken. Since I have no money, I can't really sacrifice a card to that purpose.

Trust me when I say this was my only real option. I thought it through and could come up with no better solution.

I just realized that you might mean taping the fan to the videocard itself and treat it like an oversized version of the fan that broke. That MIGHT have worked, but here's my motherboard:
AGP (geforce3)
PCI (voodoo3) [dual monitors]
PCI [broken]
PCI (100mb NIC)
PCI (SoundBlaster)
Some old-school port that I've never seen before

had I squeezed the fan in between my 2 videocards, the fan blades would have eaten the voodoo3 alive (not that that's a BAD is a voodoo...but I like having 2 monitors).

Now, before you suggest that I switch the NIC with the voodoo, My monitor cables are stretched as far as they can go (my college made the desks WAY too high off the floor).
I wonder if that does anything? LOL
I already said it lowered my idle temp, and all the other fans in the case were blowing out significantly cooler air than usual. I'm pretty sure that getting my air from a filtered source lowered the amount of dust in the computer, too. I probably should have overclocked....

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 8:23 pm
by Tulatin
i mean to a slot cover from a pci slot - you know, those metal things that cover open slots not in use?

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 8:34 pm
by SkReaP


...I uh...haven't seen those since the month I bought the damn thing. :oops:
but even so, the voodoo3 is still in the way.

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 8:35 pm
by Tulatin
move it down some slots :D

Posted: Wed Feb 11, 2004 8:49 pm
by danny the bum
That is the most awesome mod I have ever seen! I want to do it!