My Smoking Experiment

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My Smoking Experiment

Postby SkReaP » Mon Nov 14, 2005 12:06 pm

[This is a long post that really has no point except for me to share an experience. I thought I was going to die this weekend, and just had to share my experience with some strangers since I think my friends will only hate me if they found out about this]

For the past 5 months now I've been conducting a little experient of my own. I wasn't doing it with the intention of publishing my findings or anything like that. I just wanted to experience this first-hand while my body was still young and strong enough to take the abuse.

My whole family smokes. Dad, Mom, Brothers, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents...the whole lot. Some have quit, some have been trying, some don't care, and some have just started. Every friend I've ever had has also smoked (or still smokes). I, however, have been smoke free my whole life up until I started this experiment.

I could never understand how it could be so hard to stop. I can understand giving up soda or caffinated drinks or coffee. Junk food and junk drinks supply you with some things that your body needs to keep living. As bad as McDonalds and Pepsi may be, they still keep you alive, and are hard to avoid at times. But smoking isn't! At no point in your life do you need to smoke to sustain your exsistance, so why is it so much harder to quit smoking than it is to quit eating at McDonalds or drinking 5 Mountain Dews every day? I decided I would find out for myself.

Before I go on, you need to realize that I HATE smoking. My whole life I LIED to everyone - friends and family - and pretended to be alergic to nicotine. At bars, bowling alleys, and other smokey places, I would go the restrooms and put soap on my contacts to redden my eyes. I would pretend to sniffle and cough to make it look like I was having a real alergic reaction. I LOATHE cigarettes. I figured this gave me a one-up on everyone. I had more reason than anyone else to quit smoking once I got myself hooked, so I could test all the methods of quitting and maybe help my friends and family quit by giving them REAL advice, other than that which I had seen on TV.

So this was my experiment: smoke for 2 years to make sure I was hooked, then try to quit. I'm young and healthy, and, although I had never admitted to it before, like the smell of cigarettes BEFORE they were lit. For the first month, I had a cigarette resting on my lips everywhere I went. I had heard stories of people getting hooked because they "dry lipped" cigarettes for too long, and became dependent on the constant flow of nicotine to their lungs.

I have to admit, I enjoyed this part of the experiment. The taste of an unlit cigarette is quite plesant. The taste is unique, and unlike gum, an unlit cigarette never looses it flavor. I must have had the same cigarette on my lips for 22 days straight. That's when I learned something about cigarettes that I don't think anyone else knows...

Whatever material is used in cigarette filters is slightly voltile. When mixed with saliva, it becomes acidic and starts to melt. As soon as the saliva drys, the filter returns to it's natural solid state. Well, after a few weeks the filter had eaten its way through the paper and spilled onto my lips. The pain was excrutiating, and I almost crashed my car from the shock. When I pulled the cigarette out of my mouth, I was bleeding from the lip (quite badly, too) and noticed that the filter was actually BUBBLING. I tossed the cigarette in the passenger seat, pulled over, tended to my lip, and went to throw the cigarette out. In the few seconds it spent on the seat, it had glued itself to the leather seat. The acid had cooled and bonded to my car seat. It took a little tugging to get it off, and the remenents are still "melted" to that spot on my car seat.

By month 2 I wasn't dry lipping cigarettes anymore. I had started to "fake" smoke. Since I wasn't a real smoker, I never remembered to carry my own cigs on me, so I always had to bum them from friends. I tried a few times to take small doeses of smoke into my lungs, but I would always end up coughing like an idiot. None of my friends new of my experiement (most were still in shock that I wasn't really alergic), so I couldn't bring myself to tell them that the $4 of cigs that they had given me were put to waste. I would suck it into my mouth, hold it there, and then blow it out. I never let the nicotine go into my blood, and I wasn't getting addicted.

By the third month, I was upset with myself for the lack of progress. 90 days into my experiment, and I hadn't made the first step to getting addicted. One night when I couldn't sleep, I bought a pack of Marlboro Reds, and drove to an abandoned park where I could cough and choke as loud as I wanted to with out embarassing myself in front of friends, or divulging my secret to family. By some miracle, I only coughed on the first one. After that, it was like breathing air. I was facinated by my newfound ability, and cooly smoked my first official cigarette.

Let me say this - I can see why people do it. I felt GREAT. My fingers and toes tingled, my body was weightless, I couldn't stop smiling, and I just plopped down on the grass and giggled like a little girl. I felt drunk. I couldnt' stand up, the world was spinning, and I was the most mellow I had ever been. I loved it. Unfortuneately, this high only lasted for 10 minutes. It was probably a good thing because I had to drive home.

Which leads me to my next point: why is it legal to smoke while you drive? I coudn't even walk in a straight line after I smoked! I can compare the feeling to having back-to-back doubleshots of 151, without the slurred speech. I was out of it. If you're ever near a car with someone smoking in it - GET THE HELL AWAY FROM IT. And if your driving - DON'T SMOKE. Don't get me wrong - I'm not stupid - I'm sure these effects go away after the first pack, but that doesn't mean there's NO effect. Its like those people who are drunk 20 hours of the day and claim they can drive with a BAC of .10 because they're "used to it." If the "used to it" excuse doesn't work for drinkers, why does it work for smokers?

Anyways - on the way home, I start to feel sick. I've got a headache, I feel nauseous, and everytime I exhale or swallow I smell and taste ash. I have a few more cigarettes over the next 2 months and it's the same thing everytime; killer buzz followed by day-ruining illness. I start to regress and begin to "fake" smoke again. I was on the slow-track to addiction, and nearly a quarter of my experimentation time has been wasted. So, this past Friday, when I came home from work, I vowed that I was going to smoke until I liked it.

I took a full back of Marlboro Reds and started to smoke. I took as much as I could in my mouth, then sucked it deep into my lungs, and held it as long as I could. I slowly exhaled the smoke, and immedately took my next big puff. I didn't breathe oxygen for 15 minutes. If I was inhaling or exhaling, there was cigarette smoke going in or coming out. Every breath was a puff.

9 cigarettes later, I was F**ked up. Not just messed up. No - I was definately F**ked up. In fact - even the F-word falls short of describing my condition at that moment. I couldn't take anymore. Everything was spinning, I was shaking violently, I had tunnel vision, and my hearing was severly impared. I tried putting out the final cigarette and completely missed the ashtray (which is about the size of a CRT monitor stand to give you an idea of how F**ked up I was) The cigarette fell out of my hand and it felt like the world jerked itself 90 degrees as I fell back. I didn't even realized I had fallen - I really didnt' feel gravity change at all. It was like the world fell behind me, and I was still standing.

I hit the ground hard. I only knew this because of the sound. It was like something out of a bad dream. I knew that my head had slammed on the concrete patio, but not because I felt it, only because I heard it. The sound was delayed and muffled, almost like it was underwater. It was very quited and dulled out, like it was happening in slow motion to someone else far away. I suddenly felt VERY sick, and turned my head to the side just in time to not throw up on myself.

What I threw up was mostly black and spit - not from the stomach. I was grossed out and tried my absolute hardest to sit up or move away, but my body wasn't listening. My arms slowly waved around, but did nothing in terms of helping me move. Then I threw up again and started to shake really badly. By now I had a migrane headache and the worst case of nausea I've ever experienced. I couldn't yell for help, stand up, or even move. I started to wonder if I was going to die. Could smoke inhalation kill you that quick? Can you OD from nicotine? Am a *actually* alergic?

I had no clue what to do, and the only helpful advice that I could think of at the time was from "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" when Johnny Depp nearly ODs on that liquid stuff and his friend is telling him "Don't fight it - it'll kill you. Let it do it's thing." So I stop fighing it. I give in. I let my hands drop, I stop fighting to breathe, I stop trying to straighten out my vision, I stop worrying if I have a concussion...I just give up. I'm lying on my back, head turned to the side, compleletly relaxed. I try my best to lose myself in the high - to enjoy it - to let it do it's thing...

In what felt like 5 minutes, an hour passes, and I'm not feeling any better. I open my eyes and for the first time in what felt like an eternity, the world is standing still again. My hands are still a little numb and I feel very sick. I attempt to sit up and throw up instead, this time all over my own face since my head wasn't turned to the side. At this point I'm just happy to be alive, and the fact that I have puke on my face doesn't bother me one bit. What DOES bother me, however, is that the puke smells like a cigarette - the very LAST thing I want to smell right then. So I attempt to take my shirt off and wipe myself off with it. My shirt only gets as far as my face and I throw up into it. I think about just giving up and hoping I pass out until I'm done puking, but everytime I inhale all I smell is cigarette smoke, which makes my nausea worse, and it keeping me awake like an amonia packet.

I thrash around my porch and finally get my shirt off, and roll to my stomach. I dry heave a few times (by now I'm dehydrated) and start to shake again. All I want to do at this point is fall asleep or pass out, but everything around me, including my own breath and spit, supplies a taste and smell that just make my condition worse.

In a feat of last ditch strength, I crash through my screen door (and I literally mean THROUGH the thing) and stumble into the bathroom where I begin to fill my tub. I puke a few times in the toilet and then jump into the tub...make that "toss my limp and dying body into the tub". I grab a new bar of soap and start to rub it under the water viciously. I rub away an entire bar of soap into the bathwater, turning it into the equivilent of liquid irish spring. Dispite the disgusting color of the water, and the fact that I can see little chunks of vomit in it, I take several mouthfuls of it to swish around in my mouth.

The attempt to remove the awful taste from my mouth fails, and I pass out from exhaustion. I don't know how much time passed, but I later woke up in a COLD tub with irish spring froth around the edges, and what looks to be fresh vomit on my chest. Dispite the many things that could have bothered me at that moment, all I could think was "I CAN STILL SMELL IT!!" So I drained my tub and filled it again.

I unscrewed the top of a shampoo bottle and started to pour it all over my head and body as the tub refilled. I was so desperate to get the smell away that I actually poured some on my face and - you guessed it - into my mouth. I frantically scrubbed away the smell until I passed out for the second time in my tub. I awoke again an unknown amount of time later in cold water. I was pruning heavily and was finding it hard to breathe - the ammount of water in my body by now was probably blocking and/or filling my lungs.

I drained the tub one more time, and turned on the shower head to rinse off the sticky coat of residue that the soap and shampoo had left on me. Despite the number of times I rinsed my mouth out, I could only taste cigarettes, and every breath I felt sicker and more nauseous from the smell and taste. I crawled out of the tub and squeezed about a fortnights worth of toothpaste into my mouth and brushed until my gums were bleeding and my hand was raw. I rinsed my mouth clean with half a bottle of mouthwash and crawled into bed.

Needless to say, this experiment is over. I can't even type the word cigarette without feeling a little sick. I wish my findings were more meaningful than "Hey, I'm a dumbass," but I guess that's what happens when someone tries to get addicted to something they don't like. Maybe smoking is a genetic thing, and I just don't have that gene.

In the end, though, I think I found the perfect way to quit smoking. Everyone out there who wants to quit smoking - try to smoke a pack or two in less than 20 minutes. Hell, it worked for me! I don't know who would EVER want to smoke after going through what I did this past weekend.
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Postby evasive » Mon Nov 14, 2005 12:13 pm

Yeah, well, there are people that actually smoke 2 packs inside 20 minutes and another 2 packs at their next cigarette break :lol:

Naaah, I'm kidding but I've seen them serial-smoking the entire pause.

I was smoking between 10 and 15 cigaettes a day. I quit nearly 1.5 years ago. Cold turkey.
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Postby trexntx » Mon Nov 14, 2005 12:18 pm

:lol:
That giddy feeling you got from your first 'official' cigarette, will not continue to happen. That was your body's reaction to nicotine poisoning. :lol:

In a very short time a tolerance is developed.
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Postby trexntx » Mon Nov 14, 2005 12:20 pm

:lol: :lol:

Are you crazy? :lol: :lol:

Sorry, but that is hilarious. :lol:
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Postby ~PJ~ » Mon Nov 14, 2005 12:51 pm

trexntx wrote::lol:
That giddy feeling you got from your first 'official' cigarette, will not continue to happen. That was your body's reaction to nicotine poisoning. :lol:

In a very short time a tolerance is developed.


It doesn't entirely wear off unless you're a very heavy smoker. I'm not. Also, I smoke thin roll ups, so my intake per cigarette is a LOT less than a normal bought one.
Thus, when I have more than ~6 hours between cigarettes I get the nicotine rush. Which is why I don't usually have the first of the day when I'm driving!

It's a stupid habit... :cry:
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Postby YouGiveMeRash!!! » Mon Nov 14, 2005 12:56 pm

I smoke thin roll ups

:mb_happyspin::

Hmmm....you sure they are JUST thin roll ups? Sounds like something more than just a cigarette. :mb_hyper::

That's an interesting experiment Skreap. I think I'll pass on trying it myself. The only smoke that enters my lungs is second hand smoke. I can't stand cigs. Especially when people blow their smoke in my face.....I feel like spitting on them. :evil: :twisted:
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Postby felony » Mon Nov 14, 2005 1:02 pm

well my dad smokes like 2 packs a day and my mom smoked like a pack a day but she quit becuase she finally realized shes a dumbass for smoking and shes also a nurse
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Postby SkReaP » Mon Nov 14, 2005 1:42 pm

evasive wrote:Yeah, well, there are people that actually smoke 2 packs inside 20 minutes and another 2 packs at their next cigarette break :lol:

Naaah, I'm kidding but I've seen them serial-smoking the entire pause.

I was smoking between 10 and 15 cigaettes a day. I quit nearly 1.5 years ago. Cold turkey.


There's a big difference between serial or chain smoking and what I did. Most chain smokers still take breaths in between puffs. I was inhaling large ammounts of nicotine smoke EVERY breath.

To anyone who smokes out there: have 2 cigarettes in a row without breathing clean air AT ALL from the moment you light up that first one, all the way until your burn your lips on the last one. I would love to know what the hell happened to me 3 days ago. See if you get similar effects. Was I just suffering from nicotine poisoning because I don't usually smoke, or was I suffering from smoke inhalation? I've never used drugs before, but I'm pretty damn sure that's what an OD feels like.
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Postby SkReaP » Mon Nov 14, 2005 1:44 pm

trexntx wrote::lol: :lol:

:Smiley giving middle finger:

Are you crazy? :lol: :lol:

yes

Sorry, but that is hilarious. :lol:

no
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Postby HollowPoint69 » Mon Nov 14, 2005 1:55 pm

LOL, man you are crazy. Cigs are so gross. Next time just try weed :lol:
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